# LOADING…

> Baby shower merch is stuck in a pastel register nobody under forty picked. A Y2K chrome joke in the same size on an adult and an infant is the version people actually photograph.

August 17, 2026 · https://justog.club/stories/baby-shower-shirts

The baby shower aisle has one register: soft pastels, rounded script, a bear, a moon. It's been
the same for thirty years and it's aimed at a mental image of parenthood that the people
currently having babies didn't grow up with.

The people at that shower were teenagers in 2004. They have a different visual language.

## What's the joke?

`LOADING…` in chrome, on both shirts.

It works because it's a status, not a sentiment — the same reason
[nouns beat instructions](/stories/affirmation-shirt-that-isnt-cheesy) on any garment. And
it works twice: on the adult it's about waiting, and on the tiny one it's about a person who
genuinely isn't finished yet.

Y2K chrome does the tonal work. Fat glossy bubble letters with a hard reflection and a pink swoosh
is a register that says *fun* without saying *nursery*, which is the exact gap in this category.

## Why does the pastel version fail?

Because it's addressed to the idea of a baby rather than to the people in the room.

A shower is mostly adults, many of them friends rather than family, standing around a living room.
Soft pastel merchandise treats everyone present as an extension of the nursery. The good version
treats them as people who came to a party and would like a shirt they'd wear again.

The other problem: pastel and rounded script is genuinely hard to wear afterwards, so the object
has a two-hour lifespan.

## Should the adult and infant shirts match exactly?

Same print, and that's the whole gag.

The scale difference does the joke by itself — an identical graphic at two sizes is much funnier
than a "mama" and "baby" pair, and it avoids assigning anybody a role. Everybody who sees the
photograph gets it immediately.

For a shower specifically, the tiny one is the object being unwrapped, which is a better moment
than another blanket.

## Is this only for the parents?

The guest version is the one nobody makes.

A small run for the friends who came — same joke, adult sizes, whatever colours people want — is a
thing that has never really existed because
[the minimum order made it absurd](/stories/one-off-custom-shirt-no-minimum). Now it's
eight separate orders and no leftovers.

That turns a shower into an event with merch, which is exactly the register the whole thing wants
to be in.

## What other lines work?

Anything that's a status rather than a blessing.

`v2.0` · `BETA` · `UNDER CONSTRUCTION` · `EST. 2026` · `NOW BOARDING` · `NEW TENANT`. Each is a
flat statement about a situation, and each avoids the thing that makes this category unwearable:
being sincere at somebody.

The register can shift too — varsity, arcade, bootleg — as long as it isn't nursery.

## Is there a version that isn't a joke?

Yes, and it's the year.

A single large `2026` in a strong typeface is the quietest possible version and it dates the
arrival permanently. It suits people who'd find `LOADING…` a bit much, and it's a shirt they can
wear anywhere for a decade — the same logic as
[printing a year rather than an age](/stories/birthday-shirt-custom).

## What about the gender-reveal thing?

Worth being direct: that's a different event with a different set of problems, and a lot of people
have opinions about it.

The designs here don't depend on knowing anything about the baby, which is deliberate — `LOADING…`
works regardless, and it stays correct afterwards. A shirt built around a colour-coded
announcement has a much shorter and more fraught life.

## How do I get one made?

Give the line at [JustOG](/) and say it should be chrome. Pick a direction, choose adult and
infant sizes, drag the crop frame, and each is made to order and shipped.

Designs other people have published are in the [shop](/shop).

Nobody at that party wanted a pastel bear. They wanted the joke.